THAT bites!

So, this evening, after working a shift in the childcare ministry, I came out of the time clock room/storage closet and as I’m walking away, just a few steps later, I feel a painful, stinging sensation on the top of my flip-flopped foot. “Ouch!” I thought. Upon closer inspection, I saw…nothing. As I walked to my car, it kept stinging like it was still being pricked, but I still didn’t see anything, so whatever got me had long since ditched its apparently unwanted ride on my foot…it was a bite ‘n’ run–ungrateful critter.

Well, when I got to my car, I turned on the light and saw the red dot. Yes, I’d been bitten by something, alright, probably a spider. Yeesh. If you’ve been with me for any amount of time, you know how much I just LOVE spiders. Not. The thought occurred to me that the critter could still be on my person, but after the initial panic and lack of any further stingings, I figured it had definitely been left behind–in the church (a Baptist spider…who knew?) and I could drive home without any danger of driving off the road in an arachnophobic panic, which I’d nearly done once before up in New Hampshire–another story for another day.

I called my Southern Man and told him what had happened and that it was intermittently stinging with accompanying chills–just like that time I’d been stung by a wasp. Yay. Once I got home, he looked at it and said, “Yup. Spider bite.” Yay, again.

Well, I seem okay. The swelling on my foot’s gone down, the color is back to normal, the intermittent stinging is less frequent than before, and the chills seem to be gone. Now, I’ll just wait and see what my foot looks like in the morning. Hopefully, it was just a reg’lar spider and not one of them toxic ones.

Really, though…bitten by a church spider…not very Christian-like at all. I think it needs to read the Bible a bit more. REALLY get into the Bible. Or perhaps under one–that’s been dropped on it from at least an altitude of 5 feet above sea level. That’ll fix it! Oh, and the church will be notified so they will hopefully  spray the little time clock room. Take THAT spiders and any family members. Okay, now I’m not being very Christian-like, am I….

Oh, I found this little piece of relevant humor that made me feel better about my murderous attitude to the alleged perpetrator and its kin: Spiders in Church: A Doctrinal Issue?

*UPDATE* Well, after a few more chills and intermittent stinging sensations, I woke up to find my foot had fallen off! No, just kidding. It’s better, so I think it’ll be fine. 🙂

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About rebelwife

New England wife of a Southern man relocated back to Alabama.
This entry was posted in God, Health, Humor, Life and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to THAT bites!

  1. garden2day says:

    I hope everything is ok! I don’t want to hear it was a brown recluse or something of that magnitude! They are awful! I don’t like spiders about the same as I don’t like snakes-church kind or not :). Take care!

    Like

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