Search Engine Terms

I’m always curious about how people find my blog (aside from the emails, twits tweets, Pinterest pins, and FB shares).  So, I look at the “Search Engine Terms” we all have on our dashboard. (Love that word. I always picture a nice car…like this.) I get a lot of S.E.T.s that involve the Lion King, especially Ed the Hyena, catahoulas, things having to do with cars, and tadpoles. (Which reminds me, I need to tell everyone how our tadpole escapade ended. In a nutshell: not well–for the tadpoles.) I also get searches almost everyday for Adam Cann or Adam Leigh Cann. That is a good thing. Keep his memory alive.

Today, I saw one that caught my eye even more so than “coffee owl” or “whiskey butter sauce“. It was “spider hairdryer kill”. When I read that, I thought,” REALLY? ‘Spider hairdryer kill’?!” Then I thought, “I’m glad I’m not the only one!”

That is, I’m glad I’m not the only one on the face of this planet that employs whatever means necessary to win my spidattles. That’s a word I just made up. It’s a combination of “spider” and “battles”. Until now, no such word has existed. I know this because I plugged in to my Bing search bar and it came back with “no results found for spidattles”. Do you think if enough of us use it as a search term, they’ll eventually add it to the English language?

In the meantime, I added it to the Urban Dictionary. Here is what I wrote:

Submission under review

Your entry is under review by editors.

Spidattle

Any battle pitting an arachnophobic human (usually a woman whose man–or any man–is unavailable) against their mortal fear-inducing foe, a spider. A battle in the sense that they don’t just simply grab a tissue or shoe or large, heavy book and kill the spider, but plot, in mere milliseconds, a complex way to dispatch their enemy, while minimizing the spiders’ chances of ever coming in contact with the human and maximizing lethal force on the first attempt.
Using a hairdryer to maneuver a black, hairy spider out from a bathroom corner into a flat, open area of tile where it can be smooshed and smeared to an unrecognizable splotch or smudge with a stack of paper. In order to successfully do this without allowing the spider to be blown away or able to dart up the human’s leg, laws of physics directly related to the temperature,velocity, and angle of air flow from the hair dryer have to be calculated in an on-going manner. Therefore, this is not a simple smoosh, but a “spidattle”.
by RebelWife on Apr 26, 2012

tags: spiders, arachnophobia, fear, love, hatred, humans, , friends, enemy, battle

I’ll let you know if they accept it. In the meantime, feel free to use it. Oh–and don’t forget to plug it in as a search engine term.

Advertisements

About rebelwife

New England wife of a Southern man relocated back to Alabama.
This entry was posted in Humor, Language, Life and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s