On occasion, when I’m looking for something to laugh at, I go to…Craigslist. That’s right, “xxxxx craigslist>for sale/wanted>free stuff”. In the past, before I had a blog, I posted several things on Facebook that I’d found. Let me go retrieve them for your viewing pleasure. Excuse me while I copy and paste…in the meantime, although it is not humorous and has absolutely nothing to do with this post, since it is almost Memorial Day weekend, watch this:
There’ll be more about Memorial Day in the days to come.
Okay, first one:
Alabama Craigslist ad:
Tin foil viking hat size 7 1/2
A good tinfoil viking hat that I made to protect me from the solar storm that came thru last week. The storm turned out to be so lame that I don’t need the hat anymore. Free to the first person who shows up with a cold six pack and a high five.
Honest-to-goodness, that is exactly what was posted, including the picture of the man. I have no idea who he is. Not sure I care to know, either. I’m sure he’s a nice guy–definitely has a sense of humor. Anyways, moving on–NEXT!
“I have Three 2# unopened cans of NASTY Coffee that i had bought in Dothan, I wont say where, but I had seen this and thought WOW what a great freaking deal this is! so low and behold I thought to myself, (SELF) I think I will take 5 cans and give some to my neighbor AKA (DAD). So he decided to try it out, as he came out side with his freshly brewed cup of coffee, he said, Damn!! I have drank alot of different coffee in my time, But this stuff taste nothing like any coffee that I have ever had and a matter of fact, it don’t even taste or smell like coffee, I think they must of ground up Horse SH_T!!!!!!!!! So with that been said if you are a risk taker,dare devil,or would like to serve this to your house guests, this will insure that they’ll never ask you for a cup of coffee again, SO COME AND GET IT !!!!!!”
Somehow, I think this person must be in sales. I’m not sure how successful they are, but, after that description, if they managed to get rid of this, they are pretty darn good, wouldn’t you say?!
Next stop: New Orleans
“Giving away a shopping cart we used during Mardi Gras. Full decorated and free!”
Not sure what to say with this one. If I was a less compassionate person than I am, I’d make some homeless people jokes, but I won’t go there because it’s really not funny.
New Orleans, again!
“We have a beehive up in the tree in front of the house to give away for free. It’s a nice size hive with beautiful arches. Please call at 504 xxx-xxxx or email to get the exact address.”
Initially, I wondered if the beehive was vacant. A few weeks after this was originally posted, there was an update:
“We have a beehive up in the tree in front of the house to give away for free. It’s a nice size hive with beautiful arches. THERE ARE BEES STILL INN THERE!!! Hive is about 20 feet off the ground and close to power lines so you have to be sure you know what you’re doing there.Please call at 504xxx-xxxx or email to get the exact address.”
I wonder if this person is related to the person who was selling the coffee? I just hope that if (and that is a big IF) anyone actually went for this beehive with its “beautiful arches”, they did not fall or get shocked, stung or any combination of the three.
So, those were my older humorous finds. Here’s a few new ones that I found just this evening. Let’s start with New Orleans and end in Alabama:
Vengeful dog food and bird seed
In the curb. Come get it!
I don’t know if there is a brand “Vengeful” (I couldn’t find one) or if it’s actually “vengeful” in which case, I wouldn’t want to feed it to anyone or anything. (Well, except maybe the hornworms that are eating our tomato plants, if they’d have it.) My Southern Man suggested maybe they meant “Beneful” dog food and just some kind of bird seed. Could be, could be. Also, if it’s really “in the curb”, that’s a bit too much of an effort to retrieve it, free or not.
Back to Alabama:
APPROX. 0 YARDS OF CONCRETE/DIRT/RED CLAY. YOU LOAD AND HAUL FREE!! ( I WILL LOAD YOUR TRUCK/TRAILER $150.00)
How many yards? Zero? I can load it myself for free or pay you $150 to load zero yards for me? Oooooh, what a bargain! NEXT!
Lovable Medium Sized Female Mixed Bread Dog
Is that wheat and white or rye and pumpernickel, perhaps?
FREE COMPOSED HORSE MANURE
….*10-month pregnant pause*….
Huh? I assume they meant “compost”? Either that or it’s from a very calm horse. Hehehe.
Okay, now granted, some of these snippets of humor are simple typos or misspellings (perhaps due to auto-correct, in some cases?), while others are simply a bit nutty! What they all are, however, is a cheap form of entertainment that I occasionally indulge in, especially now that all the good t.v. shows are re-runs. If you find any good ones in your area’s “free stuff” ads, feel free to share. I’ve only done a few of the Southeastern states. Who knows what else is lurking out there on…Craigslist.