Ouch-OO!!

There is a curious thing about me that my Southern Man and children will, when the occasion arises, make fun of. When something–a crumb, water, etc.–goes down the wrong way, I will cough once or twice and, almost inevitably, have a sneezing fit. They always laugh. They think it’s strange. I looked it up on the worldwide web and found that I am not alone. Apparently there are others out there who do the same thing and are also made fun of. I think we should start a support group.

One thing about the sneezing while choking thing. Alright, more than one thing. First, after I have recovered, I will remind my snickering family that, if it was any of THEM choking, they would still be coughing whereas my sneezing is so effective, that my choking fits end far more quickly than theirs ever would. So, HA!!–sneezing is better than coughing at ridding the throat of things that should not be there! In a recovery-from-choking race, I would win!! Yay!

Another thing about my sneezing while choking is that they are very strong sneezes. Yesterday afternoon, a molecule of saliva went down the wrong way and I sneezed 5 or 6 times, very hard. Usually, I only sneeze 3 times–almost always 3, actually. As I sneezed the third time and realized more loud, violent, body-rocking sneezes were on their way, I could only hope that my Kegel muscles would hold! (Mature and/or formerly child-bearing women, you know what I mean!) Fortunately, they did hold. Unfortunately, I should also have been praying for my neck…I think I threw it out. Maybe it’s because of the automobile accident we had last year. Or maybe, as my Southern Man always likes to helpfully suggest, it’s because I’m getting old(er). I don’t know. All I know is, “OUCH!” Now, in addition to Kegel exercises, I also need to do my neck exercises and stretches! And maybe start wearing a ruff. No, it’s not the sound a dog makes. It’s that huge, silly-looking thing that people from way back used to wear. Supposedly, it was all the rage in the fashion world. Personally, I think maybe they threw their necks out from sneezing, too. Maybe that’s why their expressions always looked so stoic–they were masking the pain in their necks. Whaddya think?

Elizabeth_Darnley

Ruff

Ruff-er

Isabella_Rubens

Extreme Ruff-ing

If you click on the portraits, you will, perhaps, learn something. Enjoy. 🙂

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About rebelwife

New England wife of a Southern man relocated back to Alabama.
This entry was posted in Art, Family, Health, Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Ouch-OO!!

  1. garden2day says:

    I’m sorry for your pain and your peanut gallery but this post is funny! My apologies 😀 . In college we had this girl next door in the dorm who upon waking would sneeze constantly for about an hour EVERY morning–barely able to take breaths. I feel for you. I have earth shaking hiccups…you don’t want to be within a mile… Funny how people are different and must cope with things. I hope you feel better soon–prayers!!! Take care!

    Like

    • rebelwife says:

      Thank you and you don’t have to apologize for laughing–it was written for that purpose. My sister-in-law has sneezing attacks, too–not for a whole hour, but she’ll go ah-choo, ah-choo, ah-choo about a dozen or two times–very quiet, though. I am not quiet. 🙂

      Like

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